1. Car
Insurance Joke.
The other
car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. The accident occurred
when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the
other vehicle. I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner,
when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck
several times before. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided
with a tree I don't have. The indirect cause of
this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. The telephone pole was approaching fast.
I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished. I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand through it. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over. I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
2.
Insurance agent
You ought
to feel highly honored," said the businessman to the life insurance agent,
"so far today I have had my secretary turn away seven insurance
agents."
"Yes, I know," replied the agent, "I'm one of them."
"Yes, I know," replied the agent, "I'm one of them."
3. Insurance
Don
Q: What's
the difference between an insurance company CEO and the mafia don?
A: The insurance company CEO can tell you how many people will die this year. The mafia don can tell you the names of all of them.
A: The insurance company CEO can tell you how many people will die this year. The mafia don can tell you the names of all of them.
4.
Insurance service
Three
Insurance sales men were sitting in a restaurant boasting about each company’s
service.
The first one said, "When one of our insured’s died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and had mailed a check on Wednesday evening.
The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening.
The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of a tall building. One of our insured, who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as passed our floor.
The first one said, "When one of our insured’s died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and had mailed a check on Wednesday evening.
The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening.
The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of a tall building. One of our insured, who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as passed our floor.
5. Car
Insurance
The man
wanted to buy some insurance for his car, so he went to the car insurance
company and asked for the list.
First there was anti-fire, which has a $200 premium. Then, there was anti-theft, which had a $150 premium. At the end, he noticed that there was a anti-fire and anti-theft policy for only $50!
So, he asked the receptionist, 'Why in the world do you price the policy for two problems less than that for one problem?'
So, the receptionist replied, 'Because nobody steals a burnt car.'
First there was anti-fire, which has a $200 premium. Then, there was anti-theft, which had a $150 premium. At the end, he noticed that there was a anti-fire and anti-theft policy for only $50!
So, he asked the receptionist, 'Why in the world do you price the policy for two problems less than that for one problem?'
So, the receptionist replied, 'Because nobody steals a burnt car.'
